I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize