you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
