Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
