I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
