i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I look better un-naked...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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