and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
