about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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