i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
