Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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