I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
