we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
