their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
