I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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