I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Every concussion has its silver lining
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
