is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
