sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
