No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
