Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
How external is "for external use only"?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
