i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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