I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize