I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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