try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
