I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
