Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
