and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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