she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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