its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
