I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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