Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
A+ Viking dick
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
