So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
