Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
