just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
