You just made me feel so damn special
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
