Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
