I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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