Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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