He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
