Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
