dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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