Texts From Last Night

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  (971): View more from Oregon

  There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.

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  (971): There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home. http://tfl.nu/78m4
  Replies (15) Good night (4122) Bad night (775)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  are you high?

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  (402): what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers (1-402): are you high? http://tfl.nu/fjf1
  Replies (36) Good night (12594) Bad night (977)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me

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  (512): it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me http://tfl.nu/0mob
  Replies (9) Good night (1082) Bad night (3051)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.

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  (774): It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness. http://tfl.nu/e7ic
  Replies (11) Good night (1732) Bad night (2796)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?

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  (401): you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react? http://tfl.nu/0set
  Replies (4) Good night (2567) Bad night (1488)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset

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  (412): I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset http://tfl.nu/cmm6
  Replies (8) Good night (854) Bad night (2214)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow

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  (304): Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow http://tfl.nu/l8ph
  Replies (10) Good night (4071) Bad night (735)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.

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  (269): We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka. http://tfl.nu/2nmd
  Replies (7) Good night (1342) Bad night (608)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it

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  (317): He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it http://tfl.nu/wxzi
  Replies (4) Good night (853) Bad night (427)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!

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  (928): Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!! http://tfl.nu/q83i
  Replies (3) Good night (1218) Bad night (499)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?

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  (734): Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook? http://tfl.nu/02qq
  Replies (5) Good night (348) Bad night (528)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  My booty call just moved 2 min from my house

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  This has pregnancy written all over it

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  (513): My booty call just moved 2 min from my house (1-513): This has pregnancy written all over it http://tfl.nu/2h6m
  Replies (1) Good night (1618) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up

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  (248): I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up http://tfl.nu/z2m0
  Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?

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  (612): My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right? http://tfl.nu/aroa
  Replies (0) Good night (672) Bad night (283)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.

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  (587): We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator. http://tfl.nu/8kzg
  Replies (2) Good night (388) Bad night (179)

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