So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.