If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
