well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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