i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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