so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
