you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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