That's intense
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
splinters make it hard to masturbate
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
