I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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