the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just google imaged poop.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
