you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
