Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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