She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
