I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
