No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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