Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
