Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
