theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
there is puke in my bra ... again
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