yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
