It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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