why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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