i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Terrible idea I love it
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
