The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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