your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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