Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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