Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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