dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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