My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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