Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
