nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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