I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize