Its about making memories worth repressing
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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